Monday, January 28, 2008
Me On Blogging
Blogging is an interesting concept, I think going back towards a journal. It seems like a combination of both a Diary and a Newspaper, albiet a more personal newspaper. I think it seems just to be just impersonal enough that you feel that you can talk about things you wouldn't maybe talk about in person, but still personal enough that you want to, and that you want to have your friends read it. It also allows other people to get to know you, and maybe decide if they want to get to know you better, on a deeper level than "You like the Bears too? Cool, let's hang out."
The Awkwardness of Silence
As a general rule, I think people find silence, especially for any period longer than 30 seconds awkward. I think it makes people feel like they're not connecting, as if the silence is a gap between people, and people want to be connected. It's much easier to talk about anything, everything, than to sit in silence and think. Myself, I like silence. It's part of the reason that I'm a night owl, and enjoy the night so much. It's got a peaceful silence that you can't get in the day.
I guess you could say that some people like to hear themselves speak, and that's why they talk so much, but I think for most people it's something else. It's more because the silence is awkward to them, than they want to hear themselves speak. I have met some people who talk to fill the air though, which I think is common. You're not connecting if you're not talking, is a common thought, I think. Of course, this can come at the expense of listening. There's a famous quote, which is "Most people aren't listening, just waiting for their turn to speak." How many times have you tried to have a conversation with them, and they either don't hear what you're saying, or they completely ignore whatever it was you're talking about in favor of another topic? I think it's pretty common. People want people to know them, but not always do they want to know other people.
I don't think that too many people yearn for peace and quiet, though that is the phrase used. I think they just want relaxation, which comes in many ways. You can relax by playing football, but that's not exactly quiet. If people yearned for it as much as it's said they do, I think it'd be a more common thing, instead of the rare event that it is.
The awkwardness of a silence depends on the group of people. It's less awkward if it's with people you know, because you're comfortable with them. It takes a measure of comfort with the people to have the silence not be awkward. Some people have no one they can do this with, some people can do this with multiple people. Some people are just more comfortable with silence than others, for whatever reason. I'm sure that it's possible that if you grew up in the country silence might be more comfortable, than if you grew up in the middle of Chicago with cars going by all night.
I think that if people could listen more, and be more comfortable with silence, than people might save themselves alot of trouble with...everything. Alot of conflicts could be avoided if both people had listened instead of waiting for their turn to speak. But it takes alot more patience that alot of people want to give, especially if it's to someone that they don't know.
I guess you could say that some people like to hear themselves speak, and that's why they talk so much, but I think for most people it's something else. It's more because the silence is awkward to them, than they want to hear themselves speak. I have met some people who talk to fill the air though, which I think is common. You're not connecting if you're not talking, is a common thought, I think. Of course, this can come at the expense of listening. There's a famous quote, which is "Most people aren't listening, just waiting for their turn to speak." How many times have you tried to have a conversation with them, and they either don't hear what you're saying, or they completely ignore whatever it was you're talking about in favor of another topic? I think it's pretty common. People want people to know them, but not always do they want to know other people.
I don't think that too many people yearn for peace and quiet, though that is the phrase used. I think they just want relaxation, which comes in many ways. You can relax by playing football, but that's not exactly quiet. If people yearned for it as much as it's said they do, I think it'd be a more common thing, instead of the rare event that it is.
The awkwardness of a silence depends on the group of people. It's less awkward if it's with people you know, because you're comfortable with them. It takes a measure of comfort with the people to have the silence not be awkward. Some people have no one they can do this with, some people can do this with multiple people. Some people are just more comfortable with silence than others, for whatever reason. I'm sure that it's possible that if you grew up in the country silence might be more comfortable, than if you grew up in the middle of Chicago with cars going by all night.
I think that if people could listen more, and be more comfortable with silence, than people might save themselves alot of trouble with...everything. Alot of conflicts could be avoided if both people had listened instead of waiting for their turn to speak. But it takes alot more patience that alot of people want to give, especially if it's to someone that they don't know.
What makes someone human?
The Power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection.
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else.
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long.
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own.
The good devout man first makes inner preparation for the actions he has later to perform. His outward actions do not draw him into lust and vice; rather it is he who bends them into the shape of reason and right judgement. Who has a stiffer battle to fight than the man who is striving to conquer himself.
Men of strong minds and who think for themselves, should not be discouraged on finding occasionally that some of their best ideas have been anticipated by former writers; they will neither anathematize others nor despair themselves. They will rather go on discovering things before discovered, until they are rewarded with a land hitherto unknown, an empire indisputably their own, both right of conquest and of discovery.
Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn't original sin. He's born with the tragedy that he has to grow up. That he has to leave the nest, the security, and go out to do battle. He has to lose everything that is lovely and fight for a new loveliness of his own making, and it's a tragedy. A lot of people don't have the courage to do it.
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
I'm not talking about what makes us Homo Sapiens as a species. That's a fairly easy question to answer. I'm talking more about what makes a man a man, what makes someone their own person. Obviously, I am very well qualified to speak about this. I am 16, I read a time article, and I'm a week in to a Sociology class. I have alot of experience in this. Obviously.
Alright, anyway. I've got a theory. You're born, and while you have SOME semblence of a personality(Y'know, genetics and shit.) alot of it is based on upbringing. But that's not my theory, that's pretty much a fact. My theory is that we're born as very confident, very strong, very loving, very intelligent. We have all the good qualities, and it's more up to the parents to keep the child from forgetting these things about themselves, then actually giving them these qualities.
Of course, there are the fringes. Those who are brilliant, and geniuses, I'm talking about those 5 people who are ridicuously smart, and who I feel sorry for. Those who, for whatever reason, have some genetic defect that causes whatever thing. Mental retardation, etc. There's also the sociopaths and the pathlogical fringe, but I don't think anyone understands why they are what they are. I don't think you can get that effect from plain bad enviorment.
Anyway, back to my main point. If people are born with all these awesome qualities, what happens? Because, I think, we can agree, there's too many people who are...questionable. I mean, come on, "hey wazzup guys how r u, lyk rly?" isn't exactly giving me more faith in humanity. And there's enough wars, and murders, and thefts and crimes that it appears something has gone wrong. And I also don't think that there's alot of parents sitting there are night going "I bet I can make my kids stupid, and shallow...If I only knew how." But it appears to happen anyway, on a pretty wide scale.
I suppose you could blame some of it on just bad parenting. They can't be around as often as they should, because of jobs. And there's like a 50% divorce rate, so maybe that's not good either. Though I think I turned out fine. But I don't think it's a good thing either. Just a point. Society could be it. I mean, getting influenced by MTV, and allll that. You want a rounded off experience, but watching Jackass every day probably isn't boosting your intellectual capability all that well.
I don't know. I sometimes wonder if we were better off in the past. I kinda hope that someone would go all Fight Club and bring us all back in to an age where we had none of this shit. As they say somewhere in that movie, I think, hunting deer around the ivy covered Empire State building. I mean, sure, there's no vaccines, there's no computers, there's no TV, there's no Pacemakers. But for all that, what have we also made? Nuclear weapons, a shitload of guns, tanks, aircraft carriers. God knows, it's not the equipments fault, and having stuff like that is pretty cool. But it has still has the ability to destroy our world like 400 times over. That's a very very small margin of error. I mean, people got murdered, and there was war way back when. But did 50 million die over the course of something like 6 years? No. Less of a population, I suppose, but there was no...feeling that we would wipe out our entire race.
And then, perhaps we might have been better off, spiritually, emotionally, whatever. I mean, is sitting in a cubicle(Yeah, I'm aware that not everyone sits in a cubicle, but tell me how many people just LOVE working.) better than hunting mammoths in an outfit made out of skins, and wearing wood skinshoes, using a spear you made out of a tree with a stone knife? It just seems somehow perferrable to me. Maybe it's just some nostalgia, but whatever. I just think that somewhere, we went wrong. And that people aren't really being people anymore. We're capable of too many things, like murdering 7 million Jewish and other ethnicities, or causing the starvation of 300 thousand in ONE country. Too obdient. We rely too much on others. Maybe I'm wrong, but I wonder if we were capable of that 2000, 5000, 10,000, 30,000 years ago. Maybe we were. But maybe it was less of a percantage. I just think that somehow, we're losing our humanity in favor of other things. Of easier things.
Yup. That's all.
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else.
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long.
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own.
The good devout man first makes inner preparation for the actions he has later to perform. His outward actions do not draw him into lust and vice; rather it is he who bends them into the shape of reason and right judgement. Who has a stiffer battle to fight than the man who is striving to conquer himself.
Men of strong minds and who think for themselves, should not be discouraged on finding occasionally that some of their best ideas have been anticipated by former writers; they will neither anathematize others nor despair themselves. They will rather go on discovering things before discovered, until they are rewarded with a land hitherto unknown, an empire indisputably their own, both right of conquest and of discovery.
Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn't original sin. He's born with the tragedy that he has to grow up. That he has to leave the nest, the security, and go out to do battle. He has to lose everything that is lovely and fight for a new loveliness of his own making, and it's a tragedy. A lot of people don't have the courage to do it.
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
I'm not talking about what makes us Homo Sapiens as a species. That's a fairly easy question to answer. I'm talking more about what makes a man a man, what makes someone their own person. Obviously, I am very well qualified to speak about this. I am 16, I read a time article, and I'm a week in to a Sociology class. I have alot of experience in this. Obviously.
Alright, anyway. I've got a theory. You're born, and while you have SOME semblence of a personality(Y'know, genetics and shit.) alot of it is based on upbringing. But that's not my theory, that's pretty much a fact. My theory is that we're born as very confident, very strong, very loving, very intelligent. We have all the good qualities, and it's more up to the parents to keep the child from forgetting these things about themselves, then actually giving them these qualities.
Of course, there are the fringes. Those who are brilliant, and geniuses, I'm talking about those 5 people who are ridicuously smart, and who I feel sorry for. Those who, for whatever reason, have some genetic defect that causes whatever thing. Mental retardation, etc. There's also the sociopaths and the pathlogical fringe, but I don't think anyone understands why they are what they are. I don't think you can get that effect from plain bad enviorment.
Anyway, back to my main point. If people are born with all these awesome qualities, what happens? Because, I think, we can agree, there's too many people who are...questionable. I mean, come on, "hey wazzup guys how r u, lyk rly?" isn't exactly giving me more faith in humanity. And there's enough wars, and murders, and thefts and crimes that it appears something has gone wrong. And I also don't think that there's alot of parents sitting there are night going "I bet I can make my kids stupid, and shallow...If I only knew how." But it appears to happen anyway, on a pretty wide scale.
I suppose you could blame some of it on just bad parenting. They can't be around as often as they should, because of jobs. And there's like a 50% divorce rate, so maybe that's not good either. Though I think I turned out fine. But I don't think it's a good thing either. Just a point. Society could be it. I mean, getting influenced by MTV, and allll that. You want a rounded off experience, but watching Jackass every day probably isn't boosting your intellectual capability all that well.
I don't know. I sometimes wonder if we were better off in the past. I kinda hope that someone would go all Fight Club and bring us all back in to an age where we had none of this shit. As they say somewhere in that movie, I think, hunting deer around the ivy covered Empire State building. I mean, sure, there's no vaccines, there's no computers, there's no TV, there's no Pacemakers. But for all that, what have we also made? Nuclear weapons, a shitload of guns, tanks, aircraft carriers. God knows, it's not the equipments fault, and having stuff like that is pretty cool. But it has still has the ability to destroy our world like 400 times over. That's a very very small margin of error. I mean, people got murdered, and there was war way back when. But did 50 million die over the course of something like 6 years? No. Less of a population, I suppose, but there was no...feeling that we would wipe out our entire race.
And then, perhaps we might have been better off, spiritually, emotionally, whatever. I mean, is sitting in a cubicle(Yeah, I'm aware that not everyone sits in a cubicle, but tell me how many people just LOVE working.) better than hunting mammoths in an outfit made out of skins, and wearing wood skinshoes, using a spear you made out of a tree with a stone knife? It just seems somehow perferrable to me. Maybe it's just some nostalgia, but whatever. I just think that somewhere, we went wrong. And that people aren't really being people anymore. We're capable of too many things, like murdering 7 million Jewish and other ethnicities, or causing the starvation of 300 thousand in ONE country. Too obdient. We rely too much on others. Maybe I'm wrong, but I wonder if we were capable of that 2000, 5000, 10,000, 30,000 years ago. Maybe we were. But maybe it was less of a percantage. I just think that somehow, we're losing our humanity in favor of other things. Of easier things.
Yup. That's all.
Aggressive/Assertive
Blessed be the meek, for they shall inherit six feet of the earth.
Now, I could've read the quote wrong, and maybe you'll read it another way, but hey, it's all about interpretation. It doesn't matter what I see in it. Well, it does, but not to you. Anyways, some other quotes, some songs, and some situations later, it got me thinking. The result is the long rambling conversation I'm about to have with myself.
Alot of people praise the meek, the patient, the ones who accept their life. Hell, I wish I was more patient then I am, and was more accepting. But I do always want more. Not in the sense of material goods, though hey, it's not going to be turned down. I'm no saint. But in the sense of more out of life. I want it ALL. I want to experience this, and that. Well, again, not entirely. I do draw my limits. I don't see the point of drinking/smoking/doing drugs to experience life. I gotz me some better ways to release endorphins, thanks. But what does being meek, and patient GET you?
Do you get more friends, because you're nicer to people? Maybe you shouldn't be nice to people. Maybe people need to be kicked in the ass sometimes. But Ryan, being meek and patient don't mean you don't know when not to be. Well, I think meek does. Meek, to me is letting things pass you by, because you don't want to fight it. I can cite so many examples to why that is a bad idea, that instead, I'll cite none. And patience. Sure, I understand being patient with people, and all that. That's necessary. It's courtesy. But I'm talking about being patient with your life. Accepting it for what it is. "Well, I know life sucks. I'm just being realistic, that's all." No, not really. What I don't mind if when people say this "Life sucks. It's short, brutal, and seems to have absoloutely no point. But goddamnit, I'm going to make my life have a point." Not that it's ever been said to me, but I've thought it atleast.
Maybe I'm just crazy. Well, that's probably not in debate. I gave the middle finger to the last star in the sky this morning, and called it an asshole. I was pretending it was God, because that's how I roll. But I did it in a way, personally, to me meant, "You made a shitty world. And you made me part of it. So I'm going to make my little corner of it better." Not that I really believe in a God. It's the whole agnostic part of me, y'understand. But if there is one, I hope he/she is sitting up there, with their head in their hands, just incredibly frustrated with me.
So, since we've gotten this far, and I've given you my opinion on how you should live your life, what's the difference between Assertive, and Aggressive? I mean, everyone knows Aggressive is bad, right? Assertive is just standing up for yourself, and being yourself, and that's good. I don't think the line is so black and white though. One, because people will view you as aggressive, and you might view yourself as assertive. It's all about your way of looking at it. And two, maybe 5 different people see Aggressive and Assertive in different ways. None of them is wrong. Though none of them are probably right either. And three, I think you have to go beyond Assertive sometimes, in to the realms of the bad bad bad Aggressive, where all you're left with is the burning desire to do IT, whatever it is, and you couldn't care less about anyone who gets in your way, innocent bystander or not.
Maybe Assertive isn't enough sometimes. Maybe from time to time, there needs to be somebody who just says "Fuck it." and barrels right through everybody. And they do so not out of apathy, but because the end objective is more then any single person or group. So, then, is being Aggressive wrong? Do you have the willpower, and partly the apathy, to be able to throw away innocent lives like that? Let's say the End Objective is...I don't know, something really benifecial, and logical. Like a huge grant for some really good charities. And to achieve that goal, you may have to ruin a few innocent lives. It no longer seems so black and white anymore. Greater Good, which you may never live to see, and may never actually come around, VS the Innocent Bystanders, who never did anything, but are unfortunately in the way, and are here and now, not the future?
And how far do you draw the line in personal relationships. Where do you let people be, with their personal lives? Where do you stop and let them handle it? Sure, you want to have faith in them. But what if what they're going through is so hard, that they need somebody to help them. Help them, against their will. Can you stomach the abuse, the anger, the sadness of hurting those you care about, for in the end, the greater good? Can you cut off your own leg, or everyone's leg, so that we all don't die of cancer? Seems like an easy choice. It's not. Trust me. You know what you would do. You know what everyone else thinks, right away when they see it. But what if they're the ones cutting the legs off? The ones cutting off a resiting, screaming, crying little boy who just desperately wants to be left alone, because he doesn't understand that he will die? And if you manage that one, how about the other million kids you'll have to do that to? How long before you lose your mind, in to a place so deep that it can never be recovered? If I had to bet, I'd say it's after the 5th kid. Maybe.
And say you manage to say, after the 10th kid that you just cannot do this anymore, despite the fact that you are the only person who CAN do it? Will you sacrifice yourself, in a way so much beyond your body, to where you are sacrificing your mind, and possibly your soul, for the physical good of others? What happens at the 25th kid, when your body is just shaking so bad, and you're in such psychological stress that you cannot even speak anymore? And you look up at the line, where everybody is waiting for their kids turn, everybody crying, even though they know it's necessary, as they wait for you to cut their kid's leg off, so that they don't die. And the line goes on forever.
All I'm asking you is this. How long can you go before the difference between assertive and aggressive no longer means anything to you? How long can you hold back, in the name of Patience?
Heh. Maybe all you're doing by being patient is delaying the inevitable, and making it worse too. Making the inevitable explosion on somebody much worse then it has to be. And maybe all I'm doing is being an asshole, by being aggressive/assertive/whatever.
"To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"
Now, I could've read the quote wrong, and maybe you'll read it another way, but hey, it's all about interpretation. It doesn't matter what I see in it. Well, it does, but not to you. Anyways, some other quotes, some songs, and some situations later, it got me thinking. The result is the long rambling conversation I'm about to have with myself.
Alot of people praise the meek, the patient, the ones who accept their life. Hell, I wish I was more patient then I am, and was more accepting. But I do always want more. Not in the sense of material goods, though hey, it's not going to be turned down. I'm no saint. But in the sense of more out of life. I want it ALL. I want to experience this, and that. Well, again, not entirely. I do draw my limits. I don't see the point of drinking/smoking/doing drugs to experience life. I gotz me some better ways to release endorphins, thanks. But what does being meek, and patient GET you?
Do you get more friends, because you're nicer to people? Maybe you shouldn't be nice to people. Maybe people need to be kicked in the ass sometimes. But Ryan, being meek and patient don't mean you don't know when not to be. Well, I think meek does. Meek, to me is letting things pass you by, because you don't want to fight it. I can cite so many examples to why that is a bad idea, that instead, I'll cite none. And patience. Sure, I understand being patient with people, and all that. That's necessary. It's courtesy. But I'm talking about being patient with your life. Accepting it for what it is. "Well, I know life sucks. I'm just being realistic, that's all." No, not really. What I don't mind if when people say this "Life sucks. It's short, brutal, and seems to have absoloutely no point. But goddamnit, I'm going to make my life have a point." Not that it's ever been said to me, but I've thought it atleast.
Maybe I'm just crazy. Well, that's probably not in debate. I gave the middle finger to the last star in the sky this morning, and called it an asshole. I was pretending it was God, because that's how I roll. But I did it in a way, personally, to me meant, "You made a shitty world. And you made me part of it. So I'm going to make my little corner of it better." Not that I really believe in a God. It's the whole agnostic part of me, y'understand. But if there is one, I hope he/she is sitting up there, with their head in their hands, just incredibly frustrated with me.
So, since we've gotten this far, and I've given you my opinion on how you should live your life, what's the difference between Assertive, and Aggressive? I mean, everyone knows Aggressive is bad, right? Assertive is just standing up for yourself, and being yourself, and that's good. I don't think the line is so black and white though. One, because people will view you as aggressive, and you might view yourself as assertive. It's all about your way of looking at it. And two, maybe 5 different people see Aggressive and Assertive in different ways. None of them is wrong. Though none of them are probably right either. And three, I think you have to go beyond Assertive sometimes, in to the realms of the bad bad bad Aggressive, where all you're left with is the burning desire to do IT, whatever it is, and you couldn't care less about anyone who gets in your way, innocent bystander or not.
Maybe Assertive isn't enough sometimes. Maybe from time to time, there needs to be somebody who just says "Fuck it." and barrels right through everybody. And they do so not out of apathy, but because the end objective is more then any single person or group. So, then, is being Aggressive wrong? Do you have the willpower, and partly the apathy, to be able to throw away innocent lives like that? Let's say the End Objective is...I don't know, something really benifecial, and logical. Like a huge grant for some really good charities. And to achieve that goal, you may have to ruin a few innocent lives. It no longer seems so black and white anymore. Greater Good, which you may never live to see, and may never actually come around, VS the Innocent Bystanders, who never did anything, but are unfortunately in the way, and are here and now, not the future?
And how far do you draw the line in personal relationships. Where do you let people be, with their personal lives? Where do you stop and let them handle it? Sure, you want to have faith in them. But what if what they're going through is so hard, that they need somebody to help them. Help them, against their will. Can you stomach the abuse, the anger, the sadness of hurting those you care about, for in the end, the greater good? Can you cut off your own leg, or everyone's leg, so that we all don't die of cancer? Seems like an easy choice. It's not. Trust me. You know what you would do. You know what everyone else thinks, right away when they see it. But what if they're the ones cutting the legs off? The ones cutting off a resiting, screaming, crying little boy who just desperately wants to be left alone, because he doesn't understand that he will die? And if you manage that one, how about the other million kids you'll have to do that to? How long before you lose your mind, in to a place so deep that it can never be recovered? If I had to bet, I'd say it's after the 5th kid. Maybe.
And say you manage to say, after the 10th kid that you just cannot do this anymore, despite the fact that you are the only person who CAN do it? Will you sacrifice yourself, in a way so much beyond your body, to where you are sacrificing your mind, and possibly your soul, for the physical good of others? What happens at the 25th kid, when your body is just shaking so bad, and you're in such psychological stress that you cannot even speak anymore? And you look up at the line, where everybody is waiting for their kids turn, everybody crying, even though they know it's necessary, as they wait for you to cut their kid's leg off, so that they don't die. And the line goes on forever.
All I'm asking you is this. How long can you go before the difference between assertive and aggressive no longer means anything to you? How long can you hold back, in the name of Patience?
Heh. Maybe all you're doing by being patient is delaying the inevitable, and making it worse too. Making the inevitable explosion on somebody much worse then it has to be. And maybe all I'm doing is being an asshole, by being aggressive/assertive/whate
"To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"
Keeping Busy.
Gonna mix it up a bit, add some quotes at the start to make you think about the topic, before I start actually getting down to the nitty gritty of Love. Well, the best I can anyway. =P I don't necessarily agree with all of these, but they're there to make you think, not force an opinion on you. I understand that there's alot of them, but bear with me, eh?
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
I don’t think anyone can DO anything that would make him worthy of love. Love is a gift and cannot be earned. It can only be given.
To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
Honesty is the only way with anyone, when you'll be so close as to be living inside each other's skins.
When you give each other everything, it becomes an even trade. Each wins all.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.
What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?
Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.
Beyond happiness or unhappiness, though it is both things, love is intensity; it does not give us eternity but life, that second in which the doors of time and space open just a crack: here is there and now is always.
I love you - those three words have my life in them.
I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature
To stop speech when words become superfluous.
Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
Okay. Now we get to me, the opinion that you have been dearly waiting for. I already did a blog/note about Love, but I felt I had to do another. Why? Don't know. Just one of those things I guess. Moving on.
The Greek Language, from what I understand, has multiple words for love.
Eros: Romantic love, passionate love, sensual. It does not have to be sexual in nature, though it can be used that way.
Agape: General affection. It can be used the way we do. "I loved that steak." "I love my car." "I love my wife." Etc.
Philias: Friendship.
Storge: Natural affection, i.e. parents for kids.
Thelema: Desire to do something.
I'm going to be talking about Eros, though the others are also interesting and all that. But they don't get to me like the idea of Eros. I may also repeat some ideas from before, but y'know, it happens. Now, finally, my ideas.
True love. It's one of those things that has stories, poems, and other media, written about it every day. And probably has been written about every day since humans became humans, and will probably be written about every day until we all die. Because in a sense, love is what we're all living for. Maybe you're living for a couple of the loves, but I think, deep down inside, most people are living for love. Maybe they have it. Maybe they want it. It depends. But love, truly, makes the world go 'round. Well, a better way to put it is that love make us make the world go 'round.
An interesting idea is one brought up in one of the quotes, that we should spend time creating the perfect love, and not looking for the perfect lover. Now, that doesn't mean you can love anyone, because that is obviously false. You probably can't love most people. But there's still a sizable portion of people who you CAN love. Or maybe there's one true person, but I doubt it. You find someone who you're capable of loving. I think you'll know it, when it happens. Even I've experienced it. It's just something you know. You don't love them immediately, it's not love at first sight, which I think people confuse it with. And maybe that's where the idea came from. But I think it's just a feeling you get. A feeling that if the conditions were right, then you could end up in love with this person. And maybe the conditions aren't right, and never will be right, and you have to move on, and accept it. Who knows.
Then, you've got the slight paradox and conundrum of connection. When you're in love (Well this is all just hypothetical pretty much since I've never been in it but you understand) you want to be connected to that person. Well, you ARE connected. But how far do you take it? Are you one person? What does independence and dependence mean when you're in love? Are you supposed to drop everything for love, real true love that you feel in your heart? Well what you think is love anyway. If it's true, and we're all living our life for love, then maybe it's not so radical to give up our life for love. Another quote that I could not find is something like this, "With you, I should love to live, and be ready to die." Is that just some stalker guy talking, or is it actually entirely reasonable and meaningful, because people are so changed when in love?
I mean, think about it. A widely accepted fact is that we can only rely on ourselves. We will never have anybody else, forever. I say it. I believe it. But I also believe that to be in love, you've got to let go of that, or else you'll never really be in love. I don't know. I guess my kind of idea of the world of love is a very strange one. The sky is bright purple, there's no gravity, and everything is upsidedown. Maybe that makes no sense, but it does to me. Because I think the ideas and ideals that appear, and are true in the regular world, no longer apply in the world of love to some extent. I mean, sure, you don't want to go crazy to be in love. But maybe you've got to. Maybe love is crazy, and in spite of everything, it's the part of you, the naive little part of you that's telling you "Fuck it, go for it. It's worth it." So you dive in to the ocean of love, hoping that you'll instinctively know how to swim, or find something that floats that you can hang on to.
And how much do you take for love? When your 'lover' is being rude, or selfish, or treating you badly, how much do you take for love? Well, the argument can be made that you can never love a person who treats you bad, but meh. Everybody has their faults, and moments of weakness. Nobody's perfect, and they can't always treat you like you are. I mean, sure, you probably can't love a guy/girl who's ALWAYS treating you bad, but what if it's just every so often? So what happens when they don't, and they get a bit snappy? Maybe that's just be being technical, but I think I get the point across. Of how much do you take, in the name of love, because you're bound to have to deal with some shit from your partner.
And of course, the big question. How do you know it's love. I don't think the idea that "You just know in your heart." is right, because alot of people are stupid, and infatuation can be taken as love. And hearts and minds can be fooled. So how do you REALLY know that it's love, the type of love that it might be worth it to throw your life, well your current life, away for, so that you can make a new one? Maybe you don't. Maybe you just hope, and all you've got during the dive in to the ocean is the hope that it's not a 1 foot deep shallow filled with rocks. And if it is, hopefully you can pull yourself together again.
Heh. Maybe I can explain better when I've been through it all. For now, I'm just stuck at "Capable of Love." =) G'night folks.
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
I don’t think anyone can DO anything that would make him worthy of love. Love is a gift and cannot be earned. It can only be given.
To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
Honesty is the only way with anyone, when you'll be so close as to be living inside each other's skins.
When you give each other everything, it becomes an even trade. Each wins all.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.
What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?
Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.
Beyond happiness or unhappiness, though it is both things, love is intensity; it does not give us eternity but life, that second in which the doors of time and space open just a crack: here is there and now is always.
I love you - those three words have my life in them.
I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature
To stop speech when words become superfluous.
Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
Okay. Now we get to me, the opinion that you have been dearly waiting for. I already did a blog/note about Love, but I felt I had to do another. Why? Don't know. Just one of those things I guess. Moving on.
The Greek Language, from what I understand, has multiple words for love.
Eros: Romantic love, passionate love, sensual. It does not have to be sexual in nature, though it can be used that way.
Agape: General affection. It can be used the way we do. "I loved that steak." "I love my car." "I love my wife." Etc.
Philias: Friendship.
Storge: Natural affection, i.e. parents for kids.
Thelema: Desire to do something.
I'm going to be talking about Eros, though the others are also interesting and all that. But they don't get to me like the idea of Eros. I may also repeat some ideas from before, but y'know, it happens. Now, finally, my ideas.
True love. It's one of those things that has stories, poems, and other media, written about it every day. And probably has been written about every day since humans became humans, and will probably be written about every day until we all die. Because in a sense, love is what we're all living for. Maybe you're living for a couple of the loves, but I think, deep down inside, most people are living for love. Maybe they have it. Maybe they want it. It depends. But love, truly, makes the world go 'round. Well, a better way to put it is that love make us make the world go 'round.
An interesting idea is one brought up in one of the quotes, that we should spend time creating the perfect love, and not looking for the perfect lover. Now, that doesn't mean you can love anyone, because that is obviously false. You probably can't love most people. But there's still a sizable portion of people who you CAN love. Or maybe there's one true person, but I doubt it. You find someone who you're capable of loving. I think you'll know it, when it happens. Even I've experienced it. It's just something you know. You don't love them immediately, it's not love at first sight, which I think people confuse it with. And maybe that's where the idea came from. But I think it's just a feeling you get. A feeling that if the conditions were right, then you could end up in love with this person. And maybe the conditions aren't right, and never will be right, and you have to move on, and accept it. Who knows.
Then, you've got the slight paradox and conundrum of connection. When you're in love (Well this is all just hypothetical pretty much since I've never been in it but you understand) you want to be connected to that person. Well, you ARE connected. But how far do you take it? Are you one person? What does independence and dependence mean when you're in love? Are you supposed to drop everything for love, real true love that you feel in your heart? Well what you think is love anyway. If it's true, and we're all living our life for love, then maybe it's not so radical to give up our life for love. Another quote that I could not find is something like this, "With you, I should love to live, and be ready to die." Is that just some stalker guy talking, or is it actually entirely reasonable and meaningful, because people are so changed when in love?
I mean, think about it. A widely accepted fact is that we can only rely on ourselves. We will never have anybody else, forever. I say it. I believe it. But I also believe that to be in love, you've got to let go of that, or else you'll never really be in love. I don't know. I guess my kind of idea of the world of love is a very strange one. The sky is bright purple, there's no gravity, and everything is upsidedown. Maybe that makes no sense, but it does to me. Because I think the ideas and ideals that appear, and are true in the regular world, no longer apply in the world of love to some extent. I mean, sure, you don't want to go crazy to be in love. But maybe you've got to. Maybe love is crazy, and in spite of everything, it's the part of you, the naive little part of you that's telling you "Fuck it, go for it. It's worth it." So you dive in to the ocean of love, hoping that you'll instinctively know how to swim, or find something that floats that you can hang on to.
And how much do you take for love? When your 'lover' is being rude, or selfish, or treating you badly, how much do you take for love? Well, the argument can be made that you can never love a person who treats you bad, but meh. Everybody has their faults, and moments of weakness. Nobody's perfect, and they can't always treat you like you are. I mean, sure, you probably can't love a guy/girl who's ALWAYS treating you bad, but what if it's just every so often? So what happens when they don't, and they get a bit snappy? Maybe that's just be being technical, but I think I get the point across. Of how much do you take, in the name of love, because you're bound to have to deal with some shit from your partner.
And of course, the big question. How do you know it's love. I don't think the idea that "You just know in your heart." is right, because alot of people are stupid, and infatuation can be taken as love. And hearts and minds can be fooled. So how do you REALLY know that it's love, the type of love that it might be worth it to throw your life, well your current life, away for, so that you can make a new one? Maybe you don't. Maybe you just hope, and all you've got during the dive in to the ocean is the hope that it's not a 1 foot deep shallow filled with rocks. And if it is, hopefully you can pull yourself together again.
Heh. Maybe I can explain better when I've been through it all. For now, I'm just stuck at "Capable of Love." =) G'night folks.
Romantic Comedy
Hmm. See, one of the most interesting things to me is love. The whole concept. The whole idea of love. I'm not sure why. But nothing fascinates me more, nor do I want anything more. Everybody talks about it, to some extent, everybody thinks about, and everyone wants it. That is a fact. Everybody wants love, l
ove like in a romance novel, or in a romantic movie with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Hey, you can even follow the basic formula for love. Here it is.
Step 1: Witty Putdowns Against Eachother After Random Meeting.
Step 2: Shyness As Both Realize They Like Eachother, But Still Witty Putdowns.
Step 3: Hesitant Kiss, But Then Some Awkward Putdowns.
Step 4: Relationship.
Step 5: The Guy Does Something Stupid, And Girl Walks Off, Probably In To The Rain.
Step 6: The Guy Does Something Really Sweet, And Guy and Girl Fall In Love.
Step 7: End Movie With Witty Putdowns.
That is your formula for love. Now just go find your Hugh Grant, or your Julia Roberts, and engineer that. Voila. Proven by a ridiculous amount of movies. But then, you've also got so many conflicting opinions on what love is. You've got the "Do Anything For You" love. You've got the "I Love You But Hate You" love. You've got the "We're Seperate But One." Love. You've got the "Inseperable." love. Shit. You got 7 billion types of loves, one for each person. But the funny thing about it is, with such differing opinions, how can you love someone if your versions of love are different? I mean, that's a pretty damn big deal breaker.
Oh, I forgot something. You've also got the version of love, well the opinion of love, that says that love doesn't exist. It's just glandular, or chemical. Maybe a cynical view, but one to consider nonetheless.
Then while we're on the topic of love, because we are, you have to consider the amount of people. Is there that one right person for you, that has been so abundant? That someone out there is waiting for YOU, not anybody else, just YOU, and you them. The appeal there is obvious. Or maybe there's 100s, maybe even 1000s of people that you COULD love. And all it depends upon are circumstances. Random, out of your control circumstances. Or maybe some are in your control, too. But I bet some aren't.
And then you've got the question, is Love age limited? Does the big L confine itself to 20 and above, or maybe 20 to 50. Or is it an emotional age thing we're going on. Sure, you want to say emotional age, but come on, so many people are going to stay at the emotional age of a 12 year old, that claim to be in love, that you have to wonder. That many people can't be lying. Well, they can. In fact, they probably are. Delusional fuckers. Moving on.
How about love at first sight? Or does it have to develop? Is it a combination? Is there a limit to love? Can you say "I love you...50% of what I could." And be honest? Not that you'd ever say that, because then you'd be so socially inept so as to be stuck in a cave. But you get my meaning. Ever heard that line from Wedding Crashers "People say we only use 10% of our brains, but I believe we only use 10% of our hearts." Maybe it's true. Maybe we could love SO much more. Are we confining ourselves, perhaps, in our love? But back to love at first sight. Can you look at someone and think, truthfully, that you'll love them? You just know that you will? Or does love come about as you spend time with someone, gradually? Or is it like a chemical reaction, where at the meeting of the two people, they instantly know, and are changed? I don't know. If I did, this blog would be pretty useless.
Can love come and go? Can you ever stop loving someone, if you truly loved them at one point? I mean, if you're so deeply connected in love, then how could that ever really go away? Hell. If you're in love, is that something you can give up, really? Can you walk away from love? "Well sure, for my own good, for the other person's good, etc." Think about it. My two points. One, how could you love someone, if both of your goods were not in sync, if it was bad for either? Well, Ryan, things change. Nah, I don't think so. Not like that. Second point, walking away from love would be painful as hell. Well, Ryan, sometimes you have to accept pain for the greater good. Thanks, I think I knew that. But if you walk away from love, isn't that like leaving a big part of yourself behind? Can you live with that, with a hole? Maybe you could've changed something in the relationship, and saved all this. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Who knows? I don't.
You may notice that this blog has alot more questions than my other two. There's a reason. It's because I don't understand the topic in this as well as I do in the other two. It's something that I think about. But I don't understand it. Heh, maybe it's just something you're not supposed to understand, just do, and go through. Maybe that's why it can never get explained. Maybe, maybe, maybe, I guess. Here's to the night, folks.
ove like in a romance novel, or in a romantic movie with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Hey, you can even follow the basic formula for love. Here it is.
Step 1: Witty Putdowns Against Eachother After Random Meeting.
Step 2: Shyness As Both Realize They Like Eachother, But Still Witty Putdowns.
Step 3: Hesitant Kiss, But Then Some Awkward Putdowns.
Step 4: Relationship.
Step 5: The Guy Does Something Stupid, And Girl Walks Off, Probably In To The Rain.
Step 6: The Guy Does Something Really Sweet, And Guy and Girl Fall In Love.
Step 7: End Movie With Witty Putdowns.
That is your formula for love. Now just go find your Hugh Grant, or your Julia Roberts, and engineer that. Voila. Proven by a ridiculous amount of movies. But then, you've also got so many conflicting opinions on what love is. You've got the "Do Anything For You" love. You've got the "I Love You But Hate You" love. You've got the "We're Seperate But One." Love. You've got the "Inseperable." love. Shit. You got 7 billion types of loves, one for each person. But the funny thing about it is, with such differing opinions, how can you love someone if your versions of love are different? I mean, that's a pretty damn big deal breaker.
Oh, I forgot something. You've also got the version of love, well the opinion of love, that says that love doesn't exist. It's just glandular, or chemical. Maybe a cynical view, but one to consider nonetheless.
Then while we're on the topic of love, because we are, you have to consider the amount of people. Is there that one right person for you, that has been so abundant? That someone out there is waiting for YOU, not anybody else, just YOU, and you them. The appeal there is obvious. Or maybe there's 100s, maybe even 1000s of people that you COULD love. And all it depends upon are circumstances. Random, out of your control circumstances. Or maybe some are in your control, too. But I bet some aren't.
And then you've got the question, is Love age limited? Does the big L confine itself to 20 and above, or maybe 20 to 50. Or is it an emotional age thing we're going on. Sure, you want to say emotional age, but come on, so many people are going to stay at the emotional age of a 12 year old, that claim to be in love, that you have to wonder. That many people can't be lying. Well, they can. In fact, they probably are. Delusional fuckers. Moving on.
How about love at first sight? Or does it have to develop? Is it a combination? Is there a limit to love? Can you say "I love you...50% of what I could." And be honest? Not that you'd ever say that, because then you'd be so socially inept so as to be stuck in a cave. But you get my meaning. Ever heard that line from Wedding Crashers "People say we only use 10% of our brains, but I believe we only use 10% of our hearts." Maybe it's true. Maybe we could love SO much more. Are we confining ourselves, perhaps, in our love? But back to love at first sight. Can you look at someone and think, truthfully, that you'll love them? You just know that you will? Or does love come about as you spend time with someone, gradually? Or is it like a chemical reaction, where at the meeting of the two people, they instantly know, and are changed? I don't know. If I did, this blog would be pretty useless.
Can love come and go? Can you ever stop loving someone, if you truly loved them at one point? I mean, if you're so deeply connected in love, then how could that ever really go away? Hell. If you're in love, is that something you can give up, really? Can you walk away from love? "Well sure, for my own good, for the other person's good, etc." Think about it. My two points. One, how could you love someone, if both of your goods were not in sync, if it was bad for either? Well, Ryan, things change. Nah, I don't think so. Not like that. Second point, walking away from love would be painful as hell. Well, Ryan, sometimes you have to accept pain for the greater good. Thanks, I think I knew that. But if you walk away from love, isn't that like leaving a big part of yourself behind? Can you live with that, with a hole? Maybe you could've changed something in the relationship, and saved all this. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Who knows? I don't.
You may notice that this blog has alot more questions than my other two. There's a reason. It's because I don't understand the topic in this as well as I do in the other two. It's something that I think about. But I don't understand it. Heh, maybe it's just something you're not supposed to understand, just do, and go through. Maybe that's why it can never get explained. Maybe, maybe, maybe, I guess. Here's to the night, folks.
Understanding?
I was sitting here, in my house, alone, looking outside at the night. A thought occured to me, not necessarily a new one, but a new perspective on it. The thought was that we're all so stupid. So entirely stupid. We understand nothing about anything, and our entire span of life is us blundering through an unlighted maze, bumping in to walls, obstacles, and other people. And then we die, long before we ever come anywhere near to the end of the maze. Maybe if you're lucky, you find a dead-end, and you know that you took a wrong turn somewhere. Only when you slam face-first in to the cold wall, and realize that you need to retrace your steps and try again.
Now, most of you, if not all, of you who will read this, if any will(=P) think that that right there is some cynical shit. Maybe you'll think "What happened to him recently that he got so cynical in such a short time?" Well, nothing. Because it's not cynical. It's just a thought. We understand nothing about life. That is a fact. Maybe we've got the basics. We know that we're related to apes, and we're mammals. We know how to drop bombs on people, and we know how to make cars. But what is the USE of all of that? It doesn't make our life any better, not really. We're still as spiritually and self-impaired as we were a million years ago, if not more so.
We don't understand ourselves. Not to any real extent. We can't control ourselves. We're just along for the ride. The best we can do is know the signs, and duck and run for cover. How many people do you know that are really, truly, in control of themselves and their life? Who do you know that can control their emotions, and all that? And maybe it's not a bad thing that we can't. Maybe we're not meant to control our emotions, otherwise what fun would life be? But we don't even UNDERSTAND our emotions. They're just something we live with. We don't even experience our emotions like we should. Well, that's what I think anyway. We don't know what love is. We don't know what hate is. We don't know was sadness, or joy is. Sure, go look it up in a dictionary, but that's not knowing what it is.
How often have you felt truly connected to someone? How often have you felt honestly truly contented? How often have you felt like there was a fire inside you, and you just wanted to burn as high as the sky? How often have you felt love, true, deep, uncomprimising love? How often have you felt the righteous anger that burns in your eyes, an anger that has told everyone around you that you do NOT want to be fucked with, under any circumstances? How often have you FELT?
If you say anything more then a minute, more then a moment, then I am calling your bluff, or I think you misunderstood my questions. Because those moments are moments of perfection. And if you think that you've collected more then a moment or a couple of moments of perfection then you're confused. A moment or two of perfection is all we get. Again, maybe that's not bad. Maybe it gives us something to strive for. But a moment out of how many moments? A moment that is probably more luck than anything else? Imagine a LIFE of those moments.
That's why I feel that we're all so stupid. That's why I think so much. So maybe I can make some light for myself and for the people near and dear to me, so that we may navigate this maze of life a little bit better. So that maybe I'll get an extra moment of perfection. Maybe a moment that I can share with others. Welcome to my life.
Now, most of you, if not all, of you who will read this, if any will(=P) think that that right there is some cynical shit. Maybe you'll think "What happened to him recently that he got so cynical in such a short time?" Well, nothing. Because it's not cynical. It's just a thought. We understand nothing about life. That is a fact. Maybe we've got the basics. We know that we're related to apes, and we're mammals. We know how to drop bombs on people, and we know how to make cars. But what is the USE of all of that? It doesn't make our life any better, not really. We're still as spiritually and self-impaired as we were a million years ago, if not more so.
We don't understand ourselves. Not to any real extent. We can't control ourselves. We're just along for the ride. The best we can do is know the signs, and duck and run for cover. How many people do you know that are really, truly, in control of themselves and their life? Who do you know that can control their emotions, and all that? And maybe it's not a bad thing that we can't. Maybe we're not meant to control our emotions, otherwise what fun would life be? But we don't even UNDERSTAND our emotions. They're just something we live with. We don't even experience our emotions like we should. Well, that's what I think anyway. We don't know what love is. We don't know what hate is. We don't know was sadness, or joy is. Sure, go look it up in a dictionary, but that's not knowing what it is.
How often have you felt truly connected to someone? How often have you felt honestly truly contented? How often have you felt like there was a fire inside you, and you just wanted to burn as high as the sky? How often have you felt love, true, deep, uncomprimising love? How often have you felt the righteous anger that burns in your eyes, an anger that has told everyone around you that you do NOT want to be fucked with, under any circumstances? How often have you FELT?
If you say anything more then a minute, more then a moment, then I am calling your bluff, or I think you misunderstood my questions. Because those moments are moments of perfection. And if you think that you've collected more then a moment or a couple of moments of perfection then you're confused. A moment or two of perfection is all we get. Again, maybe that's not bad. Maybe it gives us something to strive for. But a moment out of how many moments? A moment that is probably more luck than anything else? Imagine a LIFE of those moments.
That's why I feel that we're all so stupid. That's why I think so much. So maybe I can make some light for myself and for the people near and dear to me, so that we may navigate this maze of life a little bit better. So that maybe I'll get an extra moment of perfection. Maybe a moment that I can share with others. Welcome to my life.
Strange Web of Chances
Y'know, I was thinking, as I do, and I was thinking about how what we say, or do affects things. Not uncommon, but it was in a weird way. There's a theory that everything you do, or didn't do, spins off a new universe, so in another universe you might of said yes when that one person asked you to prom, or said no when somebody asked to borrow money. Now imagine all the choices you've made in your life, and then imagine the close to 7 billion people we have living on Earth right now, plus all the people who have come and gone. That's a lot of universes, is it not? But, anyway, moving on.
Hindsight isn't always 20/20, despite the cliche. I look back sometimes, for brief moments, and wonder "I wonder what would of happened if.." of course, everyone does that. But when I was thinking about it, I had strange thought. Every choice you make is a web, branching out in an ever lengthening span of interconnected possibilities. Who knows what would of happened if I had decided to stay home and be there that one day? Would I be such a completely different person that I would not be friends with the people I am friends with now? It just seems strange thing to realize now, how quite different we all could be, except for one strange, and almost meaningless choice that we are all constantly making, and have made.
Imagine, that one choice that you never even gave real thought to could have changed your entire life. Or maybe it changed someone elses. Maybe you said something to someone, without even thinking through what you were saying, and maybe you made their life unimaginably better, or you came within inches of demolishing it, except for some fact that some other person said something to them the day before, something that they didn't even think through, and now saves someones life.
The choices we make are constantly interacting, creating an ever lengthening web that ensnares everyone that we come in to contact with, possibly wrapping them in it's comforting warm embrace, allowing them to become what they have always known they could be, or slowly strangling them, draining them dry of potential. And the difference between those two may be that one choice you made on a boring Saturday afternoon, when you had nothing else better to do.
If you have no clue what I'm talking about, it's fine. I don't really either. It's just something that struck me as something to write out. Oh by the way, don't look to deep in to it to try and find out what's going on with my life, or who I am, or whatever. It's just a thought, my precious loves. =)
Hindsight isn't always 20/20, despite the cliche. I look back sometimes, for brief moments, and wonder "I wonder what would of happened if.." of course, everyone does that. But when I was thinking about it, I had strange thought. Every choice you make is a web, branching out in an ever lengthening span of interconnected possibilities. Who knows what would of happened if I had decided to stay home and be there that one day? Would I be such a completely different person that I would not be friends with the people I am friends with now? It just seems strange thing to realize now, how quite different we all could be, except for one strange, and almost meaningless choice that we are all constantly making, and have made.
Imagine, that one choice that you never even gave real thought to could have changed your entire life. Or maybe it changed someone elses. Maybe you said something to someone, without even thinking through what you were saying, and maybe you made their life unimaginably better, or you came within inches of demolishing it, except for some fact that some other person said something to them the day before, something that they didn't even think through, and now saves someones life.
The choices we make are constantly interacting, creating an ever lengthening web that ensnares everyone that we come in to contact with, possibly wrapping them in it's comforting warm embrace, allowing them to become what they have always known they could be, or slowly strangling them, draining them dry of potential. And the difference between those two may be that one choice you made on a boring Saturday afternoon, when you had nothing else better to do.
If you have no clue what I'm talking about, it's fine. I don't really either. It's just something that struck me as something to write out. Oh by the way, don't look to deep in to it to try and find out what's going on with my life, or who I am, or whatever. It's just a thought, my precious loves. =)
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