The Awkwardness of Silence

As a general rule, I think people find silence, especially for any period longer than 30 seconds awkward. I think it makes people feel like they're not connecting, as if the silence is a gap between people, and people want to be connected. It's much easier to talk about anything, everything, than to sit in silence and think. Myself, I like silence. It's part of the reason that I'm a night owl, and enjoy the night so much. It's got a peaceful silence that you can't get in the day.

I guess you could say that some people like to hear themselves speak, and that's why they talk so much, but I think for most people it's something else. It's more because the silence is awkward to them, than they want to hear themselves speak. I have met some people who talk to fill the air though, which I think is common. You're not connecting if you're not talking, is a common thought, I think. Of course, this can come at the expense of listening. There's a famous quote, which is "Most people aren't listening, just waiting for their turn to speak." How many times have you tried to have a conversation with them, and they either don't hear what you're saying, or they completely ignore whatever it was you're talking about in favor of another topic? I think it's pretty common. People want people to know them, but not always do they want to know other people.

I don't think that too many people yearn for peace and quiet, though that is the phrase used. I think they just want relaxation, which comes in many ways. You can relax by playing football, but that's not exactly quiet. If people yearned for it as much as it's said they do, I think it'd be a more common thing, instead of the rare event that it is.

The awkwardness of a silence depends on the group of people. It's less awkward if it's with people you know, because you're comfortable with them. It takes a measure of comfort with the people to have the silence not be awkward. Some people have no one they can do this with, some people can do this with multiple people. Some people are just more comfortable with silence than others, for whatever reason. I'm sure that it's possible that if you grew up in the country silence might be more comfortable, than if you grew up in the middle of Chicago with cars going by all night.

I think that if people could listen more, and be more comfortable with silence, than people might save themselves alot of trouble with...everything. Alot of conflicts could be avoided if both people had listened instead of waiting for their turn to speak. But it takes alot more patience that alot of people want to give, especially if it's to someone that they don't know.